July 15, 2009

Our wildly popular Ringo series has touched our readers, and our comments indicate that they crave more. Our planned month of Ringo posts may not be sufficient.

Before we launch into what could be hundreds of posts about Ringo, let's take a brief look at Ringo's life.

A Ringo Timeline

July 7, 1940: Little Ringo is born

Six months later: Ringo eats his first solid food

1942: Ringo walks

1944: Ringo begins drumming incessantly on tables and other hard surfaces. His mother says "Enough already!"

1957: Ringo gets his first set of drums

1961: Ringo joins The Beatles, then known as The Chuffingtons

1962: The band tours Germany under the new name Paul McCartney and friends

1963 - 1970: Now named The Beatles, the band releases 13 records that are very popular with their numerous fans

1970: Ringo goes solo. While the other Beatles disappear into obscurity, Ringo sells millions of LPs, and later, CDs.

Present day: Ringo is at home, relaxing

Interesting fact: Ringo has a son, Zak, who is also a drummer. The two take turns playing the drum kit. In order to avoid arguments, Ringo has a schedule posted on the refrigerator.

July 14, 2009

This is our second in what I hope will be a long series of posts about Ringo.

Ringo was a sickly child; he suffered from chronic pleurisy, whatever that is, and was in and out of hospitals, even once falling into a coma, something certain people should have thought about before they made fun of him.

Because of his illnesses, he was never able to complete school, though he did learn to read and write, so if you have written hurtful things about him on your blog, he is able to read them. And I presume he has feelings just like regular people.

Many drummers acknowledge Ringo as an influence, including Dave Grohl of Nirvana/Foo Fighters, whoever they are, Phil Rudd of AC/DC, and Mr. Phil Collins. Collins said of Ringo's drumming:

The drum fills on the song "A Day in the Life" are very complex things. You could take a great drummer today and say "I want it like that." He wouldn't know what to do.

July 13, 2009

There has been some question in blogdom about the importance of Ringo as a member of the popular rock combo The Beatles. It is easy for laypeople to poke fun at Ringo, since he was kind of funny looking; he didn't develop his distinguished, Yasser Arafat good looks until much later. Perhaps making fun of Ringo is just a way for people to feel better about themselves.

People forget the importance of Ringo because the band appeared to be led by the extremely handsome and talented John as well as that other guy. Under-fiftys may not know that Ringo was the most popular Beatle in America when they first arrived here.

Non-drummers tend to discount Ringo's drumming. Consider these words from Mr. Steve Smith, one of the Top 25 Drummers of All Time (according to Modern Drummer Magazine):

Ringo's popularity brought forth a new paradigm in how the public saw drummers. We started to see the drummer as an equal participant in the compositional aspect. One of Ringo's great qualities was that he composed unique, stylistic drum parts for The Beatles songs. His parts are so signature to the songs that you can listen to a Ringo drum part without the rest of the music and still identify the song.

July 10, 2009

Further research indicates that the name of gentleman from Wednesday's post is Josh, and "HOME SEX IS GREAT" is not his only success. He has bravely modified the signs of protesters before (or since). This from flickr:



He not only provides the excellent addendum, he does it with a smile. And they say there are no heroes any more.

July 9, 2009

Today's theme is ghosts.

Ghosts are the spirits of the departed come back to earth for unspecified reasons. They usually wait until late at night, when we are most scare-prone, to appear in the bedrooms of the living, waking us with their screeches and howls when a normal whisper would suffice.

Some say ghosts will go away once they have settled some important issue here on earth that is bothering them. I wish that were true of the living. Ghosts rarely specify what the issue is, making it difficult for the living to provide assistance. The living have to go to the library and research the history of their house to determine who was violently murdered in an unsolved fashion. The living then must solve the murder, despite initial police skepticism and unbelieving/unhelpful spouses. Luckily, they have the eerie, clue-filled drawings of their children to aid them.

In the end, the ghosts return to wherever they came from, often without a thank you visitation, and the living enjoy normal family activities again, but with gratitude for their now ghost-free life.

July 8, 2009

Readers may wonder what is so great about homo sex. I guess you just have to try it yourself to know. I won't speak for gay men, because I don't have that lisp, and I'm not as up as I should be on developments in the lesbian community.

I do recommend everyone get themselves multiple gay friends. As we get older, and our friends get married and breed, they disappear into the maw of family life. Those of us without children (or the ability to love) would be awfully lonely if it weren't for our gay friends. At least the ones without children.

So I thank God for my LGBT friends, for their alternative lifestyle and for their availability to do stuff.

July 7, 2009

I had a great idea for a series of humorous posts, but then I forgot it. Trust me, it would have been delightful. You would have enjoyed reading it and probably come away changed for the better (assuming people ever really change).

Readers tell me that once I latch onto an interesting idea, I tend to tease out of it every possible nuance, and the cumulative effect can be a kind of high art. Thanks, readers. I remember this idea being of that caliber. Again, you will just have to believe me when I tell you this.

In the past, I would have trusted that the idea would come to me again if I just waited, but those days are past. Now I forget stuff shortly after I think of it, and I never remember it again. The lyrics to The Night Chicago Died, however, never leave me. When I ask OPE staffers if they remember that idea I had, they just stare at me.

Too bad, because, as I said, this idea was a winner. This is a great loss for us all.

July 6, 2009

I received a rejection letter today via email from an online magazine of note. I had submitted a piece to them for publication. Here is their reply:

Hi, Kurt -
Thanks for the look, but I'm afraid wə're not going to use this one.
Best,
[name withheld by me]

This is a straightforward rejection letter that I still managed to find something wrong with. Perhaps it is because finding problems with rejection letters is my only joy.

I believe the intention of the letter is simply to indicate that they do not wish to publish my writing, however, the colloquial tone makes it feel as if the editor and I have a relationship and that, though he isn't going to use "this one," there will be others that he will use. We will no doubt be in touch again, it seems to say.

I prefer the tone of the New Yorker rejection letter, which unfortunately I have also received:

We regret that we are unable to use the enclosed material. Thank you for giving us an opportunity to consider it.

Polite and clear. Of course, the first rejection letter is perfectly acceptable too, it just cannot stand up to my level of nitpicking.

July 3, 2009

Sanford leaves for trip
But not like last one

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has left his official residence to spend the weekend with his wife and children instead of with an Argentinean lady like he prefers.

In an interview, the governor called his mistress his "soul mate," but said he was ready to "fall back in love" with his wife, Jenny.

Jenny is reportedly not as thrilled with the idea.

"My wife is a wonderful, beautiful woman for her age," the governor said, "she's totally soul mate material."

The governor said his wife could perhaps help him fall in love with her again by being less naggy. "Also, she could use a prettier haircut," he said.


A fancy Argentinean dress wouldn't hurt either

Mrs. Sanford said her husband showed a lack of judgment and "prick-like behavior" when he flew to Argentina to hook up with a hot lady.

Sanford admitted that he made a mistake and said "I am going to reimburse the state for the full cost of the Argentina leg of this trip."

Spokesman Joel Lawyer said the governor will travel to be with his family in Florida, where his in-laws live. That should be interesting.

July 2, 2009

It has come to my attention that certain persons have clicked on our sidebar link for Quality OPE Products and purchased quality OPE products. Why is unclear. This reader dipped into her retirement fund to purchase an OPE mug, then photographed herself drinking or pretending to drink from the mug:



This pleased me greatly, but upon reviewing my account with the OPE products distributor, I found that there had been yet another purchase, some time ago, of a child's tee shirt. Somewhere a toddler is wearing an OPE shirt, probably against his/her will, and nothing could please me more.

I now have US$6.00 in profits that I cannot touch, because the swindlers at C@fe Press will not cut you a check until you have $25.00 in profits. This illegal-seeming practice goes on, and the Obama administration does nothing to stop it! It also means I probably won't see any moneys until 2050, when they can be used to pay for debris removal around my grave.